- COMPANY CULTURE? We invented it!! Upon which you walk into dead silence. With people avoiding each other like the plague. And I’m pretty sure that employee in the corner fell asleep working at his cubicle…
- BENEFITS?We have them! Let’s be honest. Perks and benefits are two entirely different things, and last time I checked ‘getting’ to work overtime wasn’t either of those.
- WE LOVE OUR EMPLOYEES! Just look at how dreadful they seem…(Enough said…) Truly, if your employees felt loved, appreciated, or anything of the sort, they wouldn’t look miserable.
- ENERGY? We need more of it! Actually, you are perfectly content in the monotony, so why bother saying this, thus wasting both of our time?
- WE’LL BE IN TOUCH. Forgive me for having to state the obvious, Captain, but if you’re actually not going to be in touch, then let’s once again not waste each others time.
Interviewing clearly is not my strong suit; something I’m pretty dang transparent on. However, I think a lot of interviewers could learn a couple lessons from the above, despite the humor… JUST SAYING.
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